Podunk City, USA

Surprised cowWhen you grew up in the countryside, you tend to have to prove the extreme rurality of your origin to others who share a similarly bucolic provenance. Should I become embroiled in future such contests of micturial prowess and find myself in trouble, struggling to triumph against a backwoods foe prodigiously well-equipped with a backwoods background that threatens to overshadow my own, I will rest assured that I can break the glass in case of such an emergency to retrieve the following link to end the discussion.

Oh, you guys used to tip cows when you got drunk?

Wow, that’s crazy.

No, really.

Sexual misconduct with cows reported in Herkimer Co. (Herkimer Evening Telegram)

“They were caught on videotape after a local farmer set up a camera in his barn after noticing his cows all of a sudden appeared anxious and were not producing as usual.”

So the farmer filmed them filming themselves “hav[ing] sexual contact with several cows”? Will Ilion police be pressing charges against the farmer for producing bestiality porn as well?