Capsule Movie Reviews Vol.2015.4

These are my notes to remember what I watched and kinda what I thought about it. I’ve recently transferred my reviews to IMDb and made the list of over 900 ratings publicly available. I’ve included the individual ratings with my notes for each movie.

Citizenfour (2014) — 8/10

This is Laura Poitras’s Academy Award-winning documentary about the events surrounding Edward Snowden’s revelations and release of the documentation that proves that the United States and its NSA has been and continues to run an utterly illegal, wide-reaching, intrusive and positively Orwellian domestic and international surveillance program that goes far beyond metadata-collection—bad enough, on its own—and smashes every notion of the U.S. as having the moral high ground, in any way, whatsoever. Snowden comes off as earnest and extremely capable. He knows what he’s talking about technologically and seems to be quite adept, as well as on ethically good footing. A tour de force that every world citizen should see, especially those convinced that Snowden is some sort of traitor or war criminal. Quite the contrary, it is his opponents who can be more appropriately accused with that epithet. Highly recommended.

Red Army (2014) — 8/10

This is a documentary about the first hockey players from the former Soviet Union who played in the NHL. This was especially poignant for me, as I was a huge Detroit Redwings fan at the time and absolutely loved their amazingly skilled Russians, Konstantinov, Federov, Larionov, Kozlov and Fetisov. Fetisov pretty much stars in this movie and does very well. The history is fascinating, especially of how he bucked the former Soviet-and-now-Russian regime to assert his rights. The footage of their training regimen in Russia was pretty awesome. Totally old-school. Lots of shifting plates around. Recommended for fans of the game or the era.

Merchants of Doubt (2014) — 6/10

This is a decent documentary about the lobbyists who peddle themselves as experts and who are given plenty of TV time to indoctrinate Americans with their propaganda. It was interesting enough, but didn’t really tell me anything new. The production values are decent, but things get a little too melodramatic and overwrought.

Weird Science (1985) — 6/10

Dated, but hilariously so. Anthony Michael Hall could star in anything and be funny. Robert Downey Jr. was briefly seen. The computer effects were probably hot-shit at the time, but are laughable now. I had totally forgotten that they tried to conjure a second girl, failed at it, conjured a missile instead, then a gang of mutants showed up, straight out of Mad Max and Anthony Michael Hall still carried it. Definitely not recommended unless you’re trapped somewhere or significantly inebriated and with friends.

Seven Psychopaths (2012) — 6/10

Better than expected, but likely because of the interesting cast, which interacted well together, despite an at-times hackneyed and obvious plot. Sam Rockwell, Colin Farrell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken and Kevin Corrigan all contributed and had some good screen chemistry. Unfortunately, the female characters were two-dimensional to non-existent—and, no, it doesn’t help if you make the plot a self-referential one about the writing of a screenplay called “Seven Psychopaths (à la Adaptation, which was, incidentally, a much, much better movie) in which the screenwriter (Farrell) is chastised by Walken for writing female characters poorly. Not only does it not help, it doesn’t excuse it. This is basically a vehicle for posing Rockwell’s lunacy against Harrelson’s—and Rockwell wins, hands down, as Harrelson is saddled with an actually-quite endearing devotion to his little, cross-eyed Shih Tzu and acts far saner. Still and all, some OK dialogue but nothing to write home about.

Serenity (2005) — 6/10

This is the feature-length movie based on the cult-hit TV show, Firefly. It centers on a female super-weapon who is activated to cause hand-to-hand-combat destruction via Japanese-anime commercials. I have never seen a single episode of Firefly, but if the movie is anything to go by, it seems to be a pseudo-sci-fi-cum-swashbuckler show which pulls geeks in with its appeal to their inner hero and keeps them rooted in their seats by making them believe that Summer Glau will move in with them. I feel like I’m missing something by never having seen the show at all; about halfway through the movie, they’re all just speaking in Zen koans and trite phrases (e.g. “I’m a leaf on the wind”…what the hell does that mean?) Lots of space-stuff and shoot-’em-ups as well as some Star Trek-style rhapsodizing about the inevitability of human destructiveness, culminating in a heroic, nearly but-not-quite self-sacrificing noble act by the underdogs to put right everything that was made wrong by the powers-that-be. They drop from a naval space battle to wielding shotguns and “moving some crates back here for cover”—to fight off zombies, of all things. Some of the effects were noticeably done with models rather than CGI (i.e. the physics/motion was indicative of much lighter objects). It actually picked up toward the end, though it’s still hard to recommend, but I bet fans of the original show loved it.

Iron Man 3 (2013) — 6/10

Tony Stark becomes increasingly hackneyed and unsavory, though he still has his moments. They’re separated by swathes of needless arrogance—the character is not allowed to learn from his mistakes. He’s not allowed to grow. But that mirrors his path in the comic books as well, where he has no problems anymore and is the smartest, richest, best-looking and most technologically advanced human on the planet. Bo-ring. Kingsley was mildly interesting as the Mandarin, Guy Pearce was pretty OK as Aldrich Killian but chewed the scenery considerably, Rebecca Hall was somehow bereft of personality, and Gwyneth Paltrow was typically awful as was Jon Favreau. Paul Bettany as Jarvis’s voice was welcome. So what was wrong with this movie? Well, for starters, it’s belittling to women, right? A drunk Tony Stark nearly solved a problem that poor Rebecca Hall couldn’t solve in the next 20 years (though she apparently figured out how to not age a day) and neither could Guy Pearce. When Guy Pearce visits Gwyneth Paltrow, CEO of Stark Enterprises, he talks to her like she’s mentally handicapped, and she responds accordingly. It’s pathetic—total mansplaining. Too much tech, not enough pathos, not enough heart, waaay too much sewing things up neatly at the end. Not recommended.

The Station Agent (2003) — 8/10

A lovely, small film about Finn, played by Peter Dinklage, who works in a model-train store, repairing and preparing custom items. The owner of the shop dies, selling the store in the estate, but leaving Finn a piece of property in New Jersey with a small train station on it. There he meets Joe, played by Bobby Cannavale and Olivia, played by Patricia Clarkson. It’s a movie about mood and not very much about much of anything, but it’s wonderful and entertaining and soothing without being schmaltz. Lovely performances from everyone. Highly recommended.

Fast and Furious 6 (2013) — 7/10

The same crew is back for this sixth installment of the unbelievably long-lived and by-now very formulaic film series. That’s not to say that that’s a bad thing—the vehicle sequences are great and some of the interplay is quite good. The addition of Dwayne Johnson is very welcome. Gina Carano would also have been OK, if they hadn’t made her nearly indestructible while at the same time utterly incapable of taking out Michelle Rodriguez. In fact, they all seem indestructible, in the same way that super-heroes generally are. No cuts, scratches, bruises, almost no blood, nothing. No matter how hard the blow, how high the fall, how durable the projectile or weapon. Vin Diesel gets shot and he’s back in a day. Gina Carano’s hit by a car and she’s back in thirty seconds. Vin Diesel flies 20 meters and lands on a windshield with a woman on top of him and he’s not even winded. Another relatively tiny henchman pulls a woman—granted, a small woman—out of a car with one arm. Shaw has an entire tank dropped on him and he’s doing just fine a few hours later. The list goes on. There was no need for this level of fisticuff artificiality—we had more than enough fun with cars that defy the laws of physics. All-in-all a relatively entertaining film, but the mano-a-mano fights were ludicrous and mostly unnecessary, as was a ton of the very stilted dialogue.

Stone (2010) — 6/10

Edward Norton is Stone, a man in prison for having killed his parents in a fire. Milla Jovovich is his wife, Lucetta, who’s determined to get him out on parole. Robert De Niro is Jack, the parole-board officer who will help decide whether Stone will be granted a favorable hearing. Lucetta does her best to convince Jack to decide for Stone, though at the same time she undermines Stone’s verisimilitude, whereas he does the same to Lucetta, each accusing the other of doing the same. They seem to be running a long con on Jack, but he’s also a very conflicted, ostensibly God-fearing, but most definitely prisoner’s-wife–fucking man. Jack eventually recommends parole for Stone, mostly out of fear that Lucetta and Stone would turn him in for his dalliance. Somewhat predictable and a bit overwrought, though strong performances from the main cast. Not really recommended, but an extra star for Ed Norton and Milla Jovovich.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001) — 5/10

The only redeeming thing about this movie is the cast, but it’s basically a Meatballs for millennials . That doesn’t mean that Meatballs was better just because it had Bill Murray, it just means that his presence made us want to watch that essentially terrible movie just as much as Paul Rudd’s does for the next generation. Molly Shannon, Joe Lo Truglio (Boyle from Brooklyn 99), Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper and David Hyde Pierce round out the cast. The movie is set on the last day of camp and all sorts of improbable hijinks take place, along with some truly bad acting that pummels its way through an occasionally stilted script that is reminiscent of SNL skits that will. not. end. I was not impressed; not recommended.

Warm Bodies (2013) — 7/10

Nicholas Hoult is very good as a self-aware zombie in a zombie movie told from the perspective of the zombie. Rob Corddry is his “friend”—in quotes because they are only able to connect in a very oblique way until they start to come out of their zombification. There are truly evil undead creatures that must be vanquished, which drags this film to a more prosaic level for its conclusion. It’s quite satisfying for a zombie movie.

Wyatt Cenac: Brooklyn (2014) — 6/10

Cenac does a pretty self-indulgent Brooklyn-ish set for people in Brooklyn from a hipster pub in Brooklyn. If you’re into that culture—and deep—you might like this. I like Wyatt for his writing and his wit but a bunch of his stories and jokes kind of fell flat. I like him much better as an actor or writer than as a stand-up comedian. Not recommended.

Trainwreck (2015) — 8/10

Amy Schumer hits the big screen with the character she’s perfected in her standup and television series: a party girl with brains. While she does drink too much and does have too little self-respect, she’s self-aware and at least knows what she’s getting out of it. She promotes the idea that hooking up isn’t just advantageous for the guy while admitting that it’s not so great for anyone, actually. She meets Bill Hader’s sport physician, who’s best buddies with Lebron James, who’s actually quite funny and natural in this movie. It’s quite a good movie and can’t really be shoved in the rom-com drawer: for one, it’s a good deal filthier and funnier, which isn’t surprising if you’ve seen Schumer’s other work. If I have a quibble, it’s that it’s a bit too long. Phrasing. Recommended.

I Spy (2002) — 3/10

Owen Wilson is a spy and Eddie Murphy is a world-champion boxer who teams up with him to protect a super-jet. Famke Janssen is another spy. This movie has its moments, but mostly it’s just utterly terrible. It sounded like it might be fun, but not recommended.

Aziz Ansari Live in Madison Square Garden (2014) — 6/10

The first two segments were much more political than I expected from Aziz and quite good. The much longer segment on the single life and modern communication started off quite strong, but petered out a bit. I’m watching his new show Master of None now and that’s much better. Recommended for the first half.

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) — 7/10

This is a low-key movie about a seemingly off-kilter guy who seeks a time-traveling companion using a classified ad. A lonely and dissatisfied reporter answers the ad and is slowly pulled into his off-kilter though intriguing world in which he fancies himself a spy of sorts, a renaissance man who can shoot, run, jump, climb, fight, make bombs and is an astute engineer capable of making anything he needs. He is, in many way, all of these things, but the story he tells of himself—both to himself and to her—is embellished and polished, though not enough to make it totally untrue. Mark Duplass plays his role well as does Aubrey Plaza as the reporter. I enjoyed this movie and its satisfying conclusion much more than I’d expected to. The writer Derek Connolly won the Sundance aware that year, while the director Colin Trevorrow would go on to direct Jurassic World as well as the upcoming Star Wars movie. Recommended.

The Iron Giant (1999) — 8/10

This is a relatively well-made story of a giant space robot that lands on Earth and befriends a young boy. The robot is actually a gigantic killing machine but only uses its awesome weaponry for good. The military attacks it because it thinks it’s a commie plot, but the robot sacrifices itself to save the village where the boy lives from the ensuing US military missile attack. The animation is very nice and the story is decent, although more mawkish than I’d thought it would be, considering all of the rave reviews it has. Recommended.