Dark pattern: Google really, really, really, really wants your phone number

I recently turned on two-factor authentication for my relatively rarely but still occasionally used Google account.

In the screenshot below, at the very top of the page, Google sure makes it seem like I need to finally add that phone number that Google has been begging me for … for, gosh, it’s gotta be decades by now. Now, they’re not just begging me, but are outright lying to me that I will no longer be able to use my account unless I divulge my phone number.

Is a phone number required for two-step verification?

I don’t wanna add a phone number, so I’ll click the other button to “Turn on 2-Step Verification.”

Phone number required to add two-step verification

Huh. It really looks like I need to add a phone number, right? At this point, only a stubborn, ornery, contrary sonofabitch would think otherwise.

Time to give up, I guess.

Oh, wait. I am one of them there stubborn, ornery, and contrary sonsofbitches.

For shits and giggles, let’s try scrolling down the page.

Authenticator app is available below the fold

Well, well, well. It turns out that there are other options. Let’s set up the authenticator app that I use for a lot of other accounts.

Beep. 🤖 Boop. 📟 Blort.

☑️ Done.

Is two-factor authentication enabled after I’ve added a second factor? Nope. You still have to “enable” it. I wonder why that would be?

Add a phone number can now be skipped

Oh. Duh. It’s so that they can try one last time to force me to add a phone number. Even though I’ve just added a two-factor option, Google still pretends that I need to add a phone number in order to be able to turn on two-factor verification.

Note that the dialog looks almost the same, except that there’s now a “Skip” button between the “Cancel” and “Next” buttons.

🖱 Click “Skip”.

Continue without a phone number

Wow. This is just pathological.

Google, buddy. You need help.

Just let it go.

Two-step verification enabled

Would you look at that. I guess two-factor verification does work without a phone number. I bet you feel pretty stupid about your overblown histrionics now, don’t you, Google?

What’s that? You say that 99.9% of your users ended up handing over their phone number under duress? I am not surprised.

Coda

At the top of the page, though, I still seem to have a problem with my account.

You (still) have security recommendations

I wonder what might be wrong now? I just cleared up the missing two-factor verification.

You will no doubt be utterly unsurprised to find out the reason.

We all know what it is.

The problem is … a missing phone number

Go away, Google.

Just go off in your corner and enshittify out of my sight.