“Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get... [More]”

“Arrogance must be earned.”

“If voting changed anything, they would make it illegal.”

“To clarify, add detail. And, clutter and overload are not an attribute of information, they are failures of design. Don’t start to throw out information—instead, fix the design.”

“It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a ‘dismal science.’ But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance.”

“We would like to return to work with our writers. If we cannot, we would like to express our ambivalence, but without our writers we are unable to express something as nuanced as ambivalence.”

“However, what Article VI[1] does not do, and was never intended to do, is deny me the right to say, as loudly as I may choose, that I will on no account vote for a smirking hick like Mike Huckabee, who is an unusually stupid primate but who does not have the elementary intelligence to recognize the fact that this is what he is. My right to say and believe that is already guaranteed to me by the First Amendment. And the right of Huckabee to win the election and fill the White House with morons like... [More]”

“I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles…their smiling faces just point out your inability to enjoy anything.”

“The great source of both misery and disorders of human life seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Some of those situations may no doubt deserve to be prefered to others but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardor which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice, or to corrupt the future tranquility of our minds either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly or by remorse from the horror... [More]”

“We are in a fragmenting culture, where our certainties of even a few decades ago are questioned and where it is common for young men and women, who have had years of education, to know nothing of the world, to have read nothing, knowing only some speciality or other, for instance, computers. … How will our lives, our way of thinking, be changed by the internet, which has seduced a whole generation with its inanities so that even quite reasonable people will confess that, once they are hooked,... [More]”

“Again, the passage of time destroys us all. But you can’t sit on the couch stuffing Twinkies in your mouth and bitch about how shallow your partner is for not finding you attractive anymore because some people get cancer. Please.”

“Lady, people aren’t chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling; but I don’t find them half as annoying as I find naïve, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.”

“The first step to making a difference is to get pissed off.”

“Is it possible that future generations will regard our present agribusiness and eating practices in much the same way as we now view Nero’s entertainments or Mengele’s experiments? My own initial reaction is that such a comparison is hysterical, extreme – and yet the reason it seems extreme to me appears to be that I believe animals are less morally important than human beings; and when it comes to defending such a belief, even to myself, I have to acknowledge that (a) I have an obvious... [More]”

“People who have realized that this is a dream, imagine that it is easy to wake up, and are angry with those who continue sleeping, not considering that the whole world that environs them does not permit them to wake. Life proceeds as a series of optical illusions, artificial needs and imaginary sensations.”

“Despite the best that has been done by everyone, the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan’s advantage.”

“I confess that there are several parts of this constitution[1] which I do not at present approve, but I am not sure I shall never approve them: For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged by better information, or fuller consideration, to change opinions even on important subjects, which I once thought right, but found to be otherwise. It is therefore that the older I grow, the more apt I am to doubt my own judgment, and to pay more respect to the judgment of others.... [More]”

“I have great insight. I’d use it on myself only I don’t have any problems.”

“Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.”

“In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.”

“To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.”

“I have discovered from your comments that the best thing I have done was to choose my predecessor.”

“Tell people something they know already and they will thank you for it. Tell them something new and they will hate you for it.”

“Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

“Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.”

“We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly. Stupid maybe, but not cowardly.”

“Now ‘in the long run’ this is probably true. In the long run we are all dead. Economists set themselves too easy, too useless a task if in tempestuous seasons they can only tell us that when the storm is long past the ocean is flat again.”

“Clearly, if you are going to believe anything outside your own experience, you should have some reason for believing it. Usually, the reason is authority… It is true that most of us must inevitably depend upon (authority) for most of our knowledge.”

“Well, we could urge our governments to apply full diplomatic pressure, and to seek the extradition of the school’s commanders for trial on charges of complicity in crimes against humanity. Alternatively, we could demand that our governments attack the United States, bombing its military installations, cities and airports in the hope of overthrowing its unelected government and replacing it with a new administration overseen by the UN. In case this proposal proves unpopular with the American... [More]”