Capsule Movie Reviews Vol.2011.5

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Changeling (2008) — 8/10: Angelina Jolie directed by Clint Eastwood about a woman’s struggle to find her abducted child. However, the struggle is more against a patriarchal and corrupt LA police department, who cover up their ineptitude by returning to her the wrong child and then commit her to an insane asylum when she refuses to accept that the child is hers. She was clearly suffering from “the vapors”. Dark, infuriating and very well done.
Black Dog (1998) — 4/10: Patrick Swayze is a trucker charged with driving from one place to another despite the best attempts of criminals. He is also a former criminal but also a man with a good heart just trying to do right for his family and using his unparalleled truck-driving skills to get the job done. Swayze looks a little strange in this film—somehow blockier than usual and with what looks for all the world like eye makeup for much of the film. If you like trucks, Meatloaf (the singer, not the foodstuff) and Randy Travis, this is the movie for you. Saw it in German.
Felon (2008) — 8/10: Val Kilmer as a seasoned felon who mentors Stephen Dorff, a man wrongly convicted. Dorff comes from the suburbs whereas Kilmer is a slightly overweight and massively feared ur-criminal who seems to have climbed from the primordial ooze with a life sentence and plenty of respect already in tow. The regular rumbles organized by the guards soon cause Dorff to shed any shred of humanity and throw himself into the life of a gladiator, with Kilmer as his sifu. A suprisingly gripping film for all the triteness of the plot, mostly due to Kilmer and Dorff.
Jaws (1975) — 8/10: The classic and original shark film shows up horror films of today that try too damned hard. Since the film is from the 70s, there is no reluctance to fill long minutes with three grimy guys in a cabin singing sea shanties. The pacing is languid and the threat of when-the-fuck-is-the-shark-going-to-attack? hangs like the Sword of Damocles. It’s suspense with brains; compare and contrast to Piranha 3D, for which the trailer was already execrable enough to deter viewing of the full film. Kids these days and all that, I guess. Saw it in German.
Unstoppable (2010) — 6/10: Denzel Washington as an old railroad hand (28 years) riding with a rookie (Chris Pine; you probably know him as Kirk in the latest Star Trek movie) in a runaway-train disaster movie. It’s decent, though some of the shots are needlessly jerky (especially the credits, where I thought my drive was lagging) and half of the movie is told through an American news media broadcast (FOX, as if it wasn’t bad enough). Uncle Eddie from Grounded for Life had a good role as the safety inspector.
Star Trek (2009) — 9/10: An extremely fun reboot of the series directed by J.J. Abrams with all of the origianl characters but only one of the original actors. For good luck, it’s Nimoy who reprises his role rather than Shatner, whom no-one wants to see in his Star-Fleet uniform anymore. The plot was decent enough (though there were a few truck-sized holes, it was possible to ignore them or notice them only later once the film had already been enjoyed). A fun action flick that was enjoyable for both fans and non-fans alike. Notable were Chris Pine playing Kirk and Zachary Quinto pitch-perfect as a young Spock.
Bridesmaids (2011) — 6/10: The Hangover with chicks is an entirely valid, short review of this film. The actresses are funny, though Maya Rudolph plays a very, very vanilla bride-to-be without any of the understated sarcasm she showed in her role as a prostitute in Idiocracy (for example). Kristen Wiig (also of SNL fame) was all right (the scene in the car where she tries to get a ticket was quite funny) but mostly seemed to be trying too hard (scene on plane in first class). Rose Byrne (who seems to be everywhere of late) was good as the bitch but the female Chris Farley (her name escapes me) was just as discomfiting to watch as Mr. Farley himself. The guy playing the Irish cop was lovely, as was his dialogue (for which credit goes to Wiig and Annie Mumolo, who co-wrote the screenplay). Spoiler alert: everything works out in the end.
Magnolia (1999) — 8/10: Interesting, interesting film with an all-star cast, each member of which tells a part of the story from a different viewpoint and with little respect for chronological order. The plot is hard to describe but perhaps best compared to late-period Lynch. There is no neat conclusion, of course, nor is there really any notion that anything has been resolved. An interesting story nonetheless and worth watching for the performances alone (Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Julianne Moore stood out for me).
Achtung Fertig Charlie (2004) — 7/10: A Swiss-German movie about basic training in the Swiss army. The stereotypes of Swiss culture cut right to the bone and the writing is quite funny. Melanie Winiger is quite good as the-female-recruit-who’s-better-than-all-the-guys-and-whose-crisis-of-confidence-is-resolved-by-love. Marco Rimi is absolutely hilarious and pitch-perfect as the drill sergeant.
The Switch (2010) — 6/10: Jason Bateman stars opposite Jennifer Aniston who, in what must be a record streak by now, plays a woman who’s lusted after by the men around her and either doesn’t know, doesn’t care or a mix of both. They’re both decent, but Bateman’s subdued wise-cracking—especially contrasted with the “hunk”—makes the film. Worth watching just for him.
Knowing (2009) — 3/10: A pretty crappy, semi-mystical, semi-horror, semi-action, semi-science-fiction movie about (spoiler alert) the end of the world. That’s four semis and they still don’t add up to a whole movie. Nic Cage chewed the scenery but in an awful non-convincing way. And he was the best one in the movie. Anyone involved with writing the dialogue should be taken out behind the shed and shot. The astrophysicist accepts that there is an afterlife in the end because, well, it makes him feel better. So, you see, it’s true. There are also aliens in it, for good measure.
Love and Other Drugs (2011) — 6/10: This movie features a lot of long semi-nude scenes with Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhall—in other words, fun for the whole family. Some of the scenes are kind of excruciatingly long but, on the whole, the film’s decent. The plot about the pharmaceutical industry somehow manages to be both heavy-handed and too superficial. Still, Hathaway’s boobs or Gyllenhall’s butt, depending on your druthers.
Rango (2010) — 8/10: A great, great cartoon with Johnny Depp as a chameleon bluffing his way through an adventure in the desert. At times surreal and blurring the boundary between reality and mirage, director Gore Verbinski refined the style he hinted at with the marooned-ship scene in the third Pirates of the Caribbean installment. The semi-subversive social commentary about profligate waste in the desert (I’m looking at you, Las Vegas) was accompanied by good dialogue and good voice-acting. If you want an animated film that doesn’t talk down to you, this is a good choice.
Knight and Day (2010) — 5/10: Tom Cruise was better than expected (again) though Cameron Diaz was just as annoying as ever. Lots of action and a kind of tongue-in-cheek take on the Bourne-style films. Decent but wouldn’t watch it again.
Shrek Forever After (2010) — 5/10: It had its moments, but not as good as the other films in the series. It wasn’t as bad as the third sequel could be expected to be. The oversized Puss-in-boots was very funny, though.
Rio (2011) — 2/10: A horrible little animated film about a blue bird who can dance but can’t fly but is like a little person where he works in a bookshop as an anthropomorphized boyfriend to a geeky girl who’s slowly but surely swept off her feet by an even-more-nerdy-if-possible Brazilian researcher whose female bird is a headstrong partner for the other blue bird, once she, of course, sees how cool he is on the inside. Awful, awful saccharine stuff. Go see Rango twice instead.
The Other Guys (2010) — 8/10: A magnificent and subversive comedy about the financial crisis and how the police must adjust to a world where the real criminals are in charge. Will Ferrell & Mark Wahlberg are partners with Samuel Jackson and Dwayne Johnson playing small roles as another pair of cops in a send-up of over-the-top action movies that’s done to a perfect pitch. There’s some great action that looks like real stunts, Ferrell is pitch-perfect without his usual raunch, Eva Mendes is lovely and funny. And the plot and screenplay: about as good as we can expect, I think. It’s a better documentary than many I’ve seen or read about how modern society works.
Little Fockers (2010) — 1/10: An utterly atrocious piece of shit that is an embarrassment for all associated with it. If you can make it through any of the several telephone calls filmed near the beginning without cringing, you’re already dead inside. I don’t think we made it past twenty minutes before shutting it off and trashing it with extreme prejudice.
Bounty Hunter (2010) — 5/10: Gerard Butler as a bounty hunter opposite Jennifer Aniston as a journalist (can you tell that my sister’s still visiting?). It’s ok, but the plot leaves a bunch to be desired. Butler was funny, but he was replaying his role from the Ugly Truth, to be honest…and he was better in that one. Even though I’d rather watch Aniston than Heigl any day, given that rather meager choice. It wasn’t annoying while watching it, though, so there’s that.
Get Him To The Greek (2010) — 6/10: A relatively uneven comedy wherein Russell Brand and Jonah Hill both play themselves. In this case, Mr. Brand is much more entertaining because he plays unstable and borderline psychotic so well (or doesn’t play, as the case may be). At any rate, playing a recovering heroin addict rock-star can’t have been much of stretch for him. Some funny scenes sprinkled on top of a nondescript plot as well as far too many shots of Jonah Hill’s innards rejecting whatever concoction he’d had forced down his gullet by a merciless Brand, whose imperviousness to hangovers also doesn’t seem faked.